Anxious in Love: How to Manage Your Anxiety, Reduce Conflict, and Reconnect with Your Partner

By | November 8, 2016
Anxious in Love: How to Manage Your Anxiety, Reduce Conflict, and Reconnect with Your Partner

Healthy relationships require trust, intimacy, effective communication, and understanding. However, if you suffer from chronic anxiety you may have trouble dealing with everyday conflicts and tensions that can arise in relationships. No matter how committed you are, anxiety can leave you feeling distanced from your partner. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to overcome the anxiety-fueled reactions that keep you from achieving true closeness in your relationship.

Written by two experts on anxiety disorders, Anxious in Love offers easy-to-use techniques for calming anxieties and strengthening communication in your relationship. With this book, you will learn to stay centered when faced with conflict, understand your partner’s perspective, and become more independent. By changing the way you react to triggers and stress, you will be able to focus on enjoying time with the one you love, without anxiety getting in the way.

2 thoughts on “Anxious in Love: How to Manage Your Anxiety, Reduce Conflict, and Reconnect with Your Partner

  1. Dr. Groundhog, MD
    15 of 15 people found the following review helpful
    4.0 out of 5 stars
    Very helpful, a bit complicated but understandably so, March 31, 2013
    Verified Purchase(What’s this?)
    This review is from: Anxious in Love: How to Manage Your Anxiety, Reduce Conflict, and Reconnect with Your Partner (Paperback)
    Overall, if you suffer from anxiety and it is affecting your relationship, this is definitely a targeted, worthwhile read.

    From my impression, this book is geared towards people who have a recognized anxiety disorder and perhaps also have some existing experience in therapy/know their triggers. It is important to note that in order to get to the point of being able to complete the exercises one must be pretty aware of their anxiety and some comfortable knowledge of how anxiety feels in your body.

    The exercises provide some concrete behavioral practices that can help with anxiety. A prescribed regimen like this really provided me with hope. Where therapy has often helped me unpack the “why” of my anxiety, this was the first concentrated dose of “what to do”

    That said, I had trouble with this book because my anxiety is specifically in the realm of dating and relationships – not any of the types of clinically recognized anxiety talked about in this book (if you are curious about learning more about relationship/dating anxiety – “If this is love, why do I feel so insecure?” is a good source of info but the solutions section is very weak).

    This book is written for people who have an established/committed relationship. It doesn’t mention the areas of “dating while struggling with anxiety” or “dealing with relationships ending because of anxiety” These are two very important parts on the relationship continuum that I wished they at touched upon at least a little bit. I haven’t found a good source about dating anxiety so this was a good proxy which I adapted for myself.

    The exercises are quite complex and might take a bit of time to master. I find myself having trouble remembering what I had to do so had to interrupt my practice often to check in with the book. The authors do mention that this will need to be approached slowly and you will need to persist “practice makes permanent.”

    I found some of the exercises more helpful than others and recommend that you don’t necessarily follow things to a tee, pick and choose what works for you.

    One tip: the four-square breathing technique requires you to hold your breath for four counts after you have exhaled for four counts. I found this incredibly stressful and uncomfortable. I mentioned this to my therapist and he advised me not to do this as holding the breath can cause a sense of panic and release of associated stress hormones, making anxiety worse. As a physician, I considered from a physiological standpoint and agree. Instead, I decided to just do an up and down breath – four counts in and four counts out – I felt a lot better doing it this way.

    All in all, this is the best book I’ve read thus far on this topic so would recommend it with the above caveats.

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  2. Beverly S. Talan, PhD, MFT: Psychology, Marri...
    12 of 12 people found the following review helpful
    5.0 out of 5 stars
    An Amazing Experience, December 18, 2012
    Verified Purchase(What’s this?)
    This review is from: Anxious in Love: How to Manage Your Anxiety, Reduce Conflict, and Reconnect with Your Partner (Paperback)
    Most people experience anxiety in some manner, and go through life without resolution or understanding. Anxiety can be terrifying, and frustrating for a partner who lacks understanding. I am recommending this very creative book to individuals and couples to help them become more compassionate, empathic and accepting. Anxious in Love affords individuals and couples an opportunity to learn more about anxiety, and how you and/or your partner can face the challenge of increasing connection and overcoming the stress and conflict that stands in the way of desired happiness and love.
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