A while ago, I asked my bro & his gf this: “If I sleep in the bedroom, will you have sex in there?” ½ hr later, I ended up waking to weird sucking noises coming from the bed as I slept on the floor. It was a big mistake to trust them. So, as nice guy I have decided to write a rock piece about their sexacapades.
This was my first attempt to write a rock piece. My singing voice is pretty horrible, so I kind of poked fun at rock music, which has the singer’s screaming with anger to a highly syncopated rhythm. A lot of these influences come from Serj Tankian / System of Down.
I have decided to finally throw in the towel when it comes to generalized computer use, especially composing music, and posting YouTube videos, for good. After long ignorance and expensive treatments for my eyestrain/mental issues, I am quitting and this is my last YouTube video.
Even though my dream job was to become a game/film composer, I have become increasingly frustrated with eyestrain issues. If I ever do anything in music I would prefer to be in the background as a sound engineer, but the eyestrain may not be feasible since computer use has become increasingly necessary for my production process. So, I was kind of forced to take the spotlight in things as I made this video.
Incognito, the title of the piece means “in disguise.” It’s a suiting title because for many years, although I am fairly introspective, I have been disturbed, which many people probably, are not aware of unless you watch this video.
I am very proud of this video, especially the mixing/mastering/video process. I think I excelled when it comes to the music making process, as I am well aware of how to compose a more professionally sounding track including the mix, and vocals, and even smooth transitional cuts for the video. If human resources is basing my online behavior with my performance during the job, who gives a f***. I like the way I am thank you very much.
Although the song is about sexcapades, the video is largely reminiscence of my life.
0:00 — 0:10 — Represents the Bipolar nature of my illness. Although, sadness and elatedness often describes it for most people, I would just take it as energy levels.
1:09 — Represents my shy, and disturbed nature when I was a teen.
1:12 — Represents the deepening scars caused by bullying, and how it has become fully reflected on my lifestyle.
1:15 — Represents the battle with eyestrain.
1:17 — Represents the early stages of psychosis, as I drew inconsistent connections with the TV
1:20 — Represents mid stages of schizophrenia, as I increasingly became psychotic, for example janitorial services would make me paranoid because I struggled with the ideals of education and a good job.
1:22 — Represents the excessive paranoia, and recording tactics used by my parents and the government. 1:24 — Cameo from Brother and Gf. Represents the belief that my brother was the Devil, and that he was the source of my pain (I later realized it was computer eyestrain)
1:25 — Brother is spraying me with holy water in attempt to “cure” my problems.
1:26 — 1:27 — Brother’s Gf is pouring medication down my throat like candy. For 1.5 years, there was not one Doctor while I was attending U of M Fairview MN that might have suggested to me that maybe the side effects from the medications are causing more problems for the kid. Jesus f***ing Christ I suffered! All I ask is that next time you use black box warning to treat these mental patients, please be more sensitive to how it affects them. This scene flashes 7 times and represents the 7 different neuroleptics I was on. It’s also reminiscence of how the doctors prescribed Ativan and Propanonol to “hide” the akathisia. Back in September 2010, I was hospitalized for excessive suicidal ideations because the doctors thought it was more important that I stay on meds.
1:29 — I pretty much said “F*** the medications” as I toss them away.
1:30 — This is my kind F*** You to my medications, Psychiatrists, my family, education, lifestyle, especially my mental illness relating to these events as I reclaim my sanity back.
1:31 — 1:32 — Represents the memories of my past.
1:33 — 2:04 — Represents my poor self-esteem, related to my demonic-like appearance.
My dream is to get this to be the BEST WORST YOUTUBE SONG EVER. If you need something to spice up your life, Watch this video, Tag it, and say F*** You, A-hole.
Original Digital Download and Lyrics available @:
Karaoke Digital Download available @:
Piano Sheet Music available @:
Video Rating: / 5